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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

apple bobbing the scratch of kettle corn

w. f. owen


upinVermont said...

Not sure whether there is kettle corn in the water, or apples floating in kettle corn, but I like it for just that reason - festive little Haiku.

Also, I can see that your conscious of "kigo words" or phrases. Which would be your kigo, Bill, the apple bobbing or the kettle corn?

w. f. owen said...

hi patrick,

well, the kettle corn would not scratch in water. :)
i think the apple bobbing certainly is an
autumn kigo, though reinforced by the
popping of kettle corn. hmm, maybe i should
say the popping of kettle corn. yeah, i like that.


josh said...

I like the original for its contrast between the "soft/roundness" of bobbing & apples and the "roughness" of popcorn & scratch.

'popping' is good too, but it loses something, imo.

A warm, autumn poem, Bill. Enjoyed.

popcorn sizzling slowly at first the rain

w. f. owen said...

thank you josh. i appreciate it.