tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8831746103730488405.post1873314494011280858..comments2024-03-01T01:15:20.084-08:00Comments on haiku notebook by w. f. owen: summer comesw. f. owenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07000159086728348420noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8831746103730488405.post-85007687662529530292008-05-10T09:12:00.000-07:002008-05-10T09:12:00.000-07:00Hi Grant,Thanks for the comment. Funny you shoulds...Hi Grant,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the comment. Funny you should<BR/>suggest shortening the poem even more, as I<BR/>am known to be a minimalist. I do think there<BR/>needs to be an object here though. Clinging,<BR/>per se, could mean to a flower or anything.<BR/>I guess I wanted to stay true to what happened.<BR/>Also, I wanted to keep myself (or any human--<BR/>I could have written "his shirt" or "her") in the<BR/>image to bring up our wanting to keep spring<BR/>here, rather than the excessive heat of summer.<BR/>Anyway, those are my thoughts. Thanks again.<BR/><BR/>Billw. f. owenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07000159086728348420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8831746103730488405.post-60323607304270396282008-05-10T08:21:00.000-07:002008-05-10T08:21:00.000-07:00I like the image a lot. And I really like the rhyt...I like the image a lot. And I really like the rhythm and the sound of the first five words. One could almost stop the poem there: "summer comes the honeybee clings". Or is that becoming too minimal? Probably so.<BR/><BR/>A lovely piece.<BR/><BR/>GrantGrant Hacketthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04296410267291057654noreply@blogger.com